Why I no longer identify as a feminist

So here is the thing. I work in a male dominated industry. There is a lot of back slapping, largely unfunny jokes, and when the receptionist takes her lunch break, I am the one who is asked to fill in for her, despite my position as a manager. Is it because I’m the only other female on the team? Probably. Is it a bit sexist? Maybe. Does it annoy me? A little bit. Does it mean I am going to up and leave an otherwise good job, where I am appreciated and respected, that helps me provide for my kids? Absolutely not.

You see I don’t feel the need to prove myself to anyone, I know who I am, and what I am capable of. And the truth is I am highly capable — I know my worth. And millions of women that came before me fought for the rights that I enjoy today. Womens rights movements bravely fought for the right to live free from violence and discrimination, to be educated, to own property, to vote and to earn an equal wage.

Living in Australia I have the privilege of all these rights. University educated, I have worked professionally all my adult life, and when my marriage separated I was able to secure a loan for a home for myself and my kids. Australian law, and the laws of Western and other first world free countries now align with the rights of equality that we have always sought. We won women!

Modern feminism has deviated so far from its original course that not only does it no longer serve women, but it has become self-righteous, narcissistic and dangerous.

Feminists today are not content with equality, they seem to want to denigrate men (and women who don’t agree with them). When feminists like Clementine Ford voraciously tweets things like "Honestly, the coronavirus isn't killing men fast enough" and “Kill all men”, and continues to receive government funding and retain large followings, then something is terribly wrong.

If any man ever uttered “Kill all women,” there would be unilateral outrage. Why the double standard? Aren’t double standards what we are trying to eradicate? Why is it acceptable for women to start shit-canning men, and treating them with contempt for purely biological reasons? This is just another form of bigotry, one that I refuse to partake in. Men are not the enemy of women. And the incessant pressure to pit us against each other just causes further division in an already divided world.

Feminism used to be defined by the fight for equality. Now, it's the fight for superiority. It’s not enough to be equal to men anymore, feminists want us to be hateful, disagreeable, snippy and resentful. Bringing others down a peg or two at every opportunity.

So tell me how this translates to the men in our lives? Our fathers, our partners, and most of all our sons. Personally I want my son to see me as someone who fought to overcome the obstacles in my life, not someone who sat around complaining what a bad hand I was dealt, or how much I have suffered. I want him to see me as strong, patient, loving and resilient. Not angry and hateful, and certainly not a victim.

Feminism seems to be less about equal rights, and more about being told exactly how to think by a vocal fringe of angry and disagreeable women. I was invited to a Women’s day last weekend, however it was spelt ‘Womxns’ day. If you missed the woke memo like I did, this is apparently the new way of inclusion. Womxn is used as an alternative spelling to avoid the suggestion of sexism perceived in the spelling sequences of wo ‘man’ and ‘men’, and to be inclusive of trans women and non-binary people. Who knew!

Ironically the same people in my feed that insist on using the term womxn and loudly proclaiming their feminist status, have said nothing about the deteriorating plight of millions of Afghan women, the systematic rape and sexual abuse of Israeli women, or the atrocious crimes against Sudanese women by the paramilitary Rapid Support Forces in Sudan.

In fact women have now started to commit suicide in Sudan's central Gezira state after being raped by paramilitary fighters in the brutal civil war raging in the country.

Yet every Sunday for over a year, blue haired students, gays, non-binaries, and the rest, who are supposedly in the ‘feminist inclusion camp’ now, have marched, blockaded and screamed their way through my city centre in solidarity with ‘Palestinians’ yet I have seen not one single protest, march or even a social media post bringing awareness or showing support to the barbaric treatment of women outside of Gaza. The hypocrisy is more than I can tolerate.

So while I am eternally grateful for the path that has been paved by early feminist women, the movement has been appropriated by some and skewed by others into something I cannot get onboard with. I believe in equality. I also believe that judging person based on their sex or gender is wrong. Making men, or any group the enemy is regressive and harmful.

I don’t identify as a feminist anymore, I identify as simply a human being.