Shame

That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach

Ever since the unconscionable events of October 7, I have felt a lot of emotions. Sadness, grief, empathy, anger and disillusionment. However there has been a feeling in the pit of my stomach, that I haven’t been able to identify.

It’s a strong under-current, that makes me feel sick when I see ‘legitimate’ news outlets parrot Hamas Health Organisation numbers, or when I see some narcissistic influencer shedding crocodile tears over pictures of dead children, or when I walk through my beloved city of Melbourne and see red and green coloured stickers on light posts with the words ‘Stop the genocide’ in big black letters, or worse swastikas with ‘Jews are Nazis’ scrawled below. It is the worst of discomforts. The kind of feeling that makes you nauseous, that desperately makes you wish you could block it out, but you can’t.

Today I recognised what the feeling was. It was shame. A deep second-hand shame over how the world has treated the people of Israel. A profound vicarious embarrassment over the disgusting acts of Jew-hate that have increased world-wide since the largest loss of Jewish life on any single day since the Holocaust. I’m angry at the stupidity, the callousness, the complete lack of interest to learn or acknowledge the historical facts of the region. I’m furious that people get away with the most vicious accusations towards Israel — without consequence — then it gets shared, and shared again, until it is assumed that it’s the truth.

I am embarrassed for the deplorable conduct of the United Nations, and how they continue to bully Israel, whilst conveniently ignoring atrocities perpetrated by her Arab neighbours. How dare the UN comment on Israels retaliation when Iran fired 181 ballistic missiles indiscriminately at civilian targets in Israel, yet do nothing to uphold the 1701 resolution prohibiting all armed militias from operating anywhere in all of Lebanon. How about you do your job United Nations?

I am ashamed of the conduct of Kamala Harris, tweeting that no food has entered Gaza in nearly two weeks citing humanitarian law, whilst the hostages are starving in underground tunnels financed by international donations. Kamala you failed to mention that Hamas have added half a billion dollars to its treasury in the last few months profiting from the selling of humanitarian aid. I am embarrassed that every single mention of civilian casualties and destruction from October 7 does not clearly place the responsibility on Hamas and the Palestinians involved in the massacre.

I feel a deep shame and disgust for the smug, useful idiots on college campuses that lack basic geographical knowledge of the region. The student protestor, whose video went viral, that had just completed her studies on ‘Israel, Palestine and the Middle East’ who believed that there were no muslims in Israel, and was shocked to learn that Israel is the only country in the region with equal rights for queer people. I am embarrassed for the institutions that took her parents money and taught her nothing.

I am angry at influencers like Ta-Nehisi Coates and Clementine Ford who speak with self-proclaimed authority on the evils of Israel, yet conveniently overlook the violence, jihadism, hatred and putrid misogyny that has festered in Islamic culture for centuries, yet they dismiss the truth from real authorities like Mosab Hassan Yousef, Hamza Howidy and Yasmine Mohammed. And I feel ashamed to think that the people of Israel will view the morally bereft in the West and think that we are all the same.

I could go on and on.

I desperately want to scream to the people of Israel that it’s not all of us! There are among us those that know the truth. We see through the lies. We are so, so sorry for what you are going through, and we weep for your loss. At the moment of your greatest need, the world abandoned you. I thought the world was a better place than it is.

It is the land of Israel that gives me hope, the resilience of your people, the courage and strength of your impressive young men and women that have stepped up and shown their strength and love for your country. That you are still able to dance, to sing, to live and to love, you don’t sink into victimhood or want pity. The pride of the Jewish people the world over who have leaned into their Jewish identity, proudly wearing the star of david, or waving the blue and white colours of your country with dignity, holding your heads up high amongst the sea of watermelon coloured flags. I admire and respect you greatly.

Yours is a future that I can believe in.

Am Yisrael Chai.